Chinese Duck Vendor

Aliases: none Status: Minor

A short old Chinese woman with a cane and a limp, selling roast duck in the underground Chinatown market, who catches Chuy eating an entire duck off her spit unpaid. She pursues the crew screaming and collects her money with interest.

Description

Short, limping, cane-brandishing, and furious “with the rage of a thousand unpaid debts.” She pivots from offense to customer service in a blink when Chino stands up to her, then pivots right back to business.

Role in Volume 01

In Big Trouble in Chinatown, she storms up to the crew demanding payment for the duck Chuy devoured, bones and all. Asked “Is this your dog?”, she triggers Chino’s “That’s racist!” and her own instant apology, followed immediately by “bitch, where’s my money?” Thomas pays the twenty, then a five-dollar “asshole tax,” then another five for being “lucky I don’t call the police,” paid from a ten she snatches. She hobbles off muttering in Mandarin “that didn’t sound flattering.” Thomas gets a duck leg out of the deal.

Relationships

• Chuy: her non-paying customer; she wants her money, not his excuses.
• Thomas: pays her; she taxes him twice for the trouble.
• Chino: calls out her “dog” remark; she apologizes, then bills him anyway.

Notes

• Her fee schedule (twenty, plus asshole tax, plus lucky-I-don’t-call-the-police tax) is the story’s first negotiation and its funniest.