The Emperor of the Universe

Character reference art generated with AI.

Aliases: none Status: Major

A self-titled galactic celebrity: a humanoid alien in a Liberace-inspired military uniform with epaulettes, rhinestones, and a dramatic cape, attended by a servant with a jewel-encrusted smartphone. His title is self-given. Uncle Rob explains it plainly: “He just made himself Emperor of the Universe and no one fucking questioned him. So now he’s a big celebrity in several galaxies.” He comes to Earth demanding justice because Chino and Homeboy “had their way with” his Amazons and impregnated a majority of them, and he kidnaps Sarah Yazzie and Mary Jane as recompense. He leaves as Uncle Rob’s friend, off to drinks at the restaurant at the edge of the Universe.

Role in Volume 02

• Mr. Dealer and the Intergalactic Authority: Posters only. A poster of THE EMPEROR OF THE UNIVERSE, “complete with a smug, galactic grin,” hangs in the cell and again in Cthulhu’s office. He does not appear on-page.
• The Emperor of the Universe: On-page. He descends into the Ominous Forest by shuttle, red carpet unrolling at Mr. Bitches’ boots, and declares, “I am the Emperor of the Universe. Is this your planet?” He finds Chino and Homeboy guilty of “vandalism, theft, offending the honor of my ladies, and terrorism,” the terrorism charge resting on his fear that he would not get his Amazons back (“I was frightened I wouldn’t get my Amazons back”). On Mr. Bitches’ advice he seizes Sarah and Mary Jane, who are collared by The Emperor’s Servant and cuffed aboard his gaudy shuttle (gold-leaf paneling, velvet drapes, propaganda screens, an orchestral “We Are the Champions”). He orders Sarah executed for insolence, gets talked down by Mr. Bitches on proof-of-life grounds, and declares both women “mine” (“Not simply slaves,” … “My slaves”). When the crew arrives he mistakes Killian for God and Lucy for the Morning Star, drops to one knee, and offers planets as dowry for Lucy’s hand. After Sarah and Mary Jane escape their cheap-jewelry collars and disarm Mr. Bitches, Uncle Rob canes Bitches down, takes the Emperor’s hand, and talks him off the ledge (“Get up. Don’t let these peasants see you like this. You’re the Emperor of the Universe”), correcting the record on Killian and Lucy. The Emperor boards the shuttle with Uncle Rob and leaves Earth as his friend.

Notes

• His name is a title, not a given name. The prose never gives him any other name.
• Uncle Rob calls him a con artist, and Sarah agrees with the assessment. His power comes from popularity: “the more popular he gets, the more planets just start giving him power.”
• The “terrorism” charge is his own framing of the Amazon incident. Sarah contests it on-page; he does not.