Sarah Yazzie
Character reference art generated with AI.
Aliases: Sarah Status: Supporting
Sarah Yazzie is Chino’s girlfriend, his guerita, introduced by name in Uncle Rob’s Time Portal once the story’s time-travel wrinkle turns an ordinary birthday errand into an accusation. The story opens with Chino already sulking over having “caught my guerita with another dude,” and after the trip through Uncle Rob’s portal he spots Chad across the street and names him as the culprit: “It’s the motherfucker my guerita is fucking.” Homeboy confronts Chad directly, “heard you were fucking my boy’s girl,” and Chad’s answer is that he’s gay and was on his way to drop off a birthday present for Sarah, whose birthday the time jump had left everyone confused about (“Today is yesterday,” in answer to Chino’s realization that “It’s her birthday”). The group follows Chad to Sarah’s door, where she greets them “young, glowing, unaware of the multiversal chaos creeping into her day,” and gets promptly bear-hugged off her feet and spun around like a game-show prize by an overenthusiastic Homeboy (“Happy birthday, guerita!”). Once Chad hands over the gift and she confirms herself that “He is gay” and laughs at the idea that she and Chad were “hooking up,” the accusation collapses and the visit turns into a party. She is unrelated to Destiny, a different ex-girlfriend of Chino’s introduced later in the volume in The Cursed Joint of Bayankala. Sarah’s entire on-page presence in Volume 01 stays inside Uncle Rob’s Time Portal; she and Destiny never appear together or overlap in any story.
The Adventures: Volume 01
Sarah’s only appearance in Volume 01 is in Uncle Rob’s Time Portal, and only in the story’s back half, once Chino, Homeboy, and Chad arrive at her house. She’s affectionate with Chino from the moment he steps inside. “Happy birthday, babe,” he says, leaning in for a kiss, which she returns, only puzzled about who she’d just seen at the door. Once Chad’s gift and Homeboy’s accusation come out into the open, she’s the one who actually settles the matter, confirming Chad’s story and laughing off the whole idea that he’d cheat with him: “You two are ridiculous.” She and Chino reconcile on the spot, disappearing into the bedroom hand-in-hand as her gleeful “WOO!” echoes down the hall, the misunderstanding turning into an invitation for the rest of the crew to come party at her house. Near the story’s end, back at Uncle Rob’s, Chino still has her present on his mind, “Dude, I gotta give my guerita her present,” confirming the two are still together as the story closes. The full volume mentions her by name nowhere else: Volume 01’s Sarah is a one-story appearance, though the author has confirmed she’s part of the series’ main cast going forward.
The Adventures: Volume 02
- Date Night: Returns after ghosting Chino and throws herself at him; he slows her down with a double-date proposal. Acts nothing like herself all night (no beer, no memory of the time-portal events), vanishes into the mini-golf castle with Chino, and explodes in a shower of blue, red, and green gore. The implication: she was never the real Sarah.
- Mr. Bitches and the Emporium of Sex: Found working at the Emporium; Chino verifies she is the real Sarah by her anger. Claims Mr. Bitches takes care of them and refuses rescue, so Chino vapes her unconscious and carries her out in a fireman’s carry.
- Uncle Hank and the Naked Pod People: Wakes with no memory of the Emporium. Chino finds the original Sarah suspended in a stasis pod beneath the club and frees her; she thanks Killian for taking a bullet for the team.
- The Joint of Azathoth: Vetoes the orgy, demands a real fix, and marches everyone to Uncle Rob’s mansion. When he refuses, she lays down the rules (more women than men; “stay out of the back door”) and co-organizes the night with Mary Jane.
- Tequila Homegirl: Helps get Homegirl ready for the Chris date, deduces the tequila trigger with Mary Jane, and coaches by text (“try one and if that doesn’t work try another”).
- Of Rednecks and Vampires: Asks the question that deflates the whole hunt over comms: “Why are we hunting these vampires?” Gives her blouse to press against Lucy’s wound.
- The Return of Dos Santos: Meets Lucy at the door with open jealousy, storms out, then accepts the truth (“Only a Devil can date a Devil”). Gets buried alive with Mary Jane by Dos Santos; Homeboy cuts her free.
- Lucy Ex Machina: Hijacks the red-haired dancer’s private dance for herself, gets drugged and caged, and brawls with Lucy in the cell over Killian. Reconciles over joints (“Bitch, you know I love you”).
- The Emperor of the Universe: Lured to the strip club through Mary Jane’s “Katie” call, collared by Mr. Bitches’ servant. Debates property versus mates with the Emperor of the Universe, yanks the Desert Eagle from Mr. Bitches’ hand and tosses it to Chino, and walks out after spotting the collars are cheap jewelry.
Reference Art
Character reference art generated with AI.
Military Chronicles
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Space Adventures
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