Uncle Hank

Character reference art generated with AI.

Aliases: none Status: Major

An older ex-military man, Native American by his own word, who dresses in a dark black trench coat, a black top hat, and a necklace of clinking bones, his face painted with a stark white skull. Chino and Homeboy know him from their service days; Homeboy greets him as “Uncle Hank?!” and “You fucking Devil Dog!” He calls himself and Uncle Rob “mortal enemies,” lives in a gypsy caravan that is impossibly large inside (“Magic”), and works for Mr. Bitches for thousands. He arms the crew, organizes the vampire hunt, and talks like a half-drunk drill sergeant at a backyard barbecue.

Role in Volume 02

• Mr. Bitches and the Emporium of Sex: Silent cameo. He enters the Emporium foyer in full skull-face regalia, tips his hat to Chino and Homeboy without a word, and exits while an employee wheels a wooden crate labeled CINDERELLA out on a hand truck. Homeboy dubs the look “Papa Shango stuff.”
• Uncle Hank and the Naked Pod People: His proper introduction. Homeboy spots him on the street; they dap and embrace like war buddies, and Chino learns he was a Green Beret “back in the days of desmadre.” He refuses to help against Mr. Bitches (“Do you have any idea who Mr. Bitches is?!” … “Thousands! More than my retirement pays me”), reveals the Cinderella crate holds his own-design magic mushrooms (“That’s a need-to-know”), and helps push the dead Gremlin. At the Emporium climax he walks into the ruined Hub carrying another Cinderella crate, and when Mr. Bitches pleads “Help me,” he answers, “I think I’ve helped enough. See ya around.” Back at the apartment he thanks the boys “for showing me the light again.”
• Of Rednecks and Vampires: He leads the vampire hunt. Arriving at the apartment with “Vampires. A butt fuck ton,” he briefs the crew (wooden stakes, crossbows, silver bullets, garlic), runs the recon, and negotiates the peace: after Chino’s intervention he apologizes to Nagan (“Fuck! That’s the second time you’ve made me think deep about my own bullshit”), pledges never to kill vampires indiscriminately, and walks out of the compound side by side with Nagan to talk business about errant clan members.
• The Return of Dos Santos: Dos Santos burns his caravan down with gasoline and propane tanks. Uncle Hank arms the crew (fifty-caliber sniper rifle, C4), shoots Dos Santos mid-charge (“Uncle Hank stood nearby, smoke spiraling off his trench coat. He gave Homeboy a sharp nod”), drives the rescue, and coordinates the Ominous Forest operation.
• The Emperor of the Universe: He mans the barbecue grill, trades barbs with Uncle Rob over the satellite search (“Why don’t you try over the Amazon?” … “Are you in charge now?”), and helps carry the wounded Lucy out of the forest.

Notes

• His first on-page appearance is the silent st. 04 cameo; st. 05 gives him dialogue and backstory.
• The prose never explains the Fallujah/Korengal-era falling-out that made him and Uncle Rob “mortal enemies”; that history is referenced, not told.
• His full name is never given; “Uncle Hank” is the only name the prose provides.