The Chino & Homeboy Universe

Mrs. Dealer

4 min read

Mrs. Dealer

Mrs. Dealer Character reference art generated with AI.

Aliases: none Status: Recurring

Mrs. Dealer is introduced in the same breath as her husband (“Mr. and Mrs. Dealer. A study in contrasts”), and the contrast is the point: where Mr. Dealer is a wiry, sneering ex-Wall Street trader who greets Chino and Homeboy with “Fuck me,” she’s “a monument to curves and confidence, the human embodiment of that one song by The Commodores: Brick House,” and lights up with “Hi boys! How’re you?!” That warmth isn’t just decoration. Across the volume she’s consistently the one extending credit, understanding, and protection to Chino and Homeboy, while Mr. Dealer supplies the friction. Their business runs on both of them, and she says so herself: introducing the new edibles department at Mr. Dealer’s dispensary, she tells the boys flatly, in front of him, that “he wouldn’t have this dispensary if it wasn’t for half my money.” Later, when Mr. Dealer wants to fire Chino and Homeboy over their chronic tardiness, she overrules him on the spot (“they are my delivery boys, not yours, and I say when they’re fired”), then kisses him on the cheek and pats his backside on her way to the back room. The marriage reads as genuinely affectionate underneath the bickering: she swats him for cursing in front of company (“Honey, language”), he plans elaborate date-night dinners around her, and the two of them are still clinking wine glasses together at the volume’s closing party.

The Adventures: Volume 01

In Uncle Rob’s Time Portal, her first appearance, she’s the one who bails Chino and Homeboy out of the King Taco line when they turn up with no money, covering their whole order without hesitation (“I’ll cover you. Just tell me what you want and I’ll get it.”) while Mr. Dealer peels off toward the order line wanting nothing to do with it. Homeboy spends the walk home marveling that “Mrs. Dealer is so fucking cool.” The Last Blunt catches the Dealers still running the business out of their own kitchen: while Mr. Dealer haggles over a dime bag paid in loose change, she serves Chino and Homeboy cocoa and cookies in a bathrobe and cucumber mask, scolds her husband for swearing, and kisses his forehead before leaving them to finish the deal. By Nature Sucks the operation has moved out of the house. Chino and Homeboy show up at the Dealers’ door looking for weed, and she answers in her robe to tell them “we don’t sell that here anymore. You have to go to our new dispensary on the other side of town.”

Mrs. Dealer and the Edibles Factory is her biggest showcase: she buzzes Chino and Homeboy into the dispensary after Mr. Dealer refuses to hire them, talks him down when he objects that a Sasquatch (actually Chuy) broke his grandmother’s chair, and personally tours the pair through the fairy- and Kush-Monster-staffed operation she calls “my edibles factory,” ending with both of them in Mrs. Dealer’s Edibles shirts and hats. In Count Dragula, a phone call from Homeboy interrupts a date-night grocery run, and it’s her idea to reopen the dispensary and hand off that night’s deliveries. That decision puts Homeboy in view of the lurking Edward and Jacob, who tail the Dealers’ car and are watching when Homeboy leaves alone, not long before he’s abducted. She flirts openly with him while he waits for his delivery bags, and later in the same story hands Chino a list of Homeboy’s delivery addresses when he goes missing, then talks Mr. Dealer out of firing both of them over their lateness. She and Mr. Dealer close out El Cucuy and the Nightmares running the THC sample truck together outside the Colosseum, trading barbs over the boys’ tardiness, and the volume’s final party finds them still side by side, clinking wine glasses with the crowd.

The Adventures: Volume 02

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